I've really been feeling the pressure at work the last few weeks and (of course) that's making me want to get the hell out of this place all the more.
Still not a word to the family here that we are going back to Utah, but I know Tom loves me and will do what he needs to to take care of me.
I just hope it's soon...I almost walked on the job last night...but in the end I was able to get my composure in check and made it through my shift.

So we are trying to figure out exactly where we need to go to pick up a copy of our marriage license because we don't have one yet, and I think I need it in order to get a new ssc with the name Hargrove on it, which I will need in order to get a new driver's license (in Utah of course) with the same name. ((sigh)) I know I'm a Hargrove in my heart as well as on Paper (as far as LA county is concerned), but I'm ready to be Hargrove everywhere else too.

Speaking of SSC my dear husband wants me to look up where I need to go to apply for the new said card as we are planning to trying to get out to get the marriage license this Friday.

Until next time....which will hopefully be before another millenia has passed...

I don't know what's wrong with me right now. I mean, I'm happy with Tom and I love him more than anything in the world. Other aspects of my life, however, aren't as 'peachy' (I guess you'd say). Work right now is one of the busiest times for me. I've been working 40 hour weeks (and am even getting a bit of overtime here and there), and even though it's nice having a nice paycheck...I'm not happy. I'm not happy with the situation. I've never been particularly in love with working at Target, and I'll admit that it bothers me that I'm the one working full time when in actuality I'd much rather be at home taking care of a family.

Which brings me to my next issue. Family. I miss mine so much that I think it might literally be driving me crazy. I mean...in Utah I have the most....wonderful mother that any person could ask for. I mean even with everything we've all done in order to help turn what hairs we can of hers from Brown to grey...she's always been there for her children. That's just the kind of person she is. A woman who from time to time asks me when she's going to get another grandchild. She DESERVES that....cuz she'd make one hell of an awesome grandmother....and....even working full time....I can't give her that.

On the other hand, here in California, I've got Tom's family who (no offense) all seem to have no ones interest at heart but their own. My mother in law actually went and (in 30 days time) spent over $400 from our checking account. (She's on the account and has her own card...but I won't go into all that now...I know it was stupid..this post isn't about that.) And then when Tom went to her and told her that she spent way to much and let her know that we were going to open a new account so that she couldn't just 'spend' OUR money...she had the nerve to tell him he was being an asshole. I mean...how can you even say that to your child? And then she starts going off on how the whole thing is MY fault because the only reason Tom's acting the way he is is being I 'don't like her'.

I just really, really hate the situation. I hate working full time at a job I don't like in order to just 'get by'. And I mean...that's not actually living in a house of our own (or even apartment for that matter) we can't even afford a freaking apartment! We could rent a 4 bedroom house back in Utah for probably the same a month as a ONE bedroom apartment costs here. And yes...I've looked it up, I'm not just blowing smoke out my pie hole.
I hate feeling so completely empty inside knowing that I was so close to being a mother and feeling so ready for it. To feeling so complete one moment and then to have it all ripped away. And not being able to afford to try again. I hate that I live around all these people who keep saying "don't you dare have another baby yet. That would be the stupidest thing you could do right now" When my mother was honest to God HEARTBROKEN when we found out I lost my child.

I hate knowing that this trip to Utah will likely be the last trip I make to the house my family is in because to me that's the one place I truly feel is 'home', and I can't stand the fact that it got to to the point where my Mom had to decide to sell.

And I think one of the things I hate the most is that all of these things inside me is keeping me from being the person that I know I can be and that I want to be. I want to be healthier, but I've never been less focused on it than I have as of late, and it bothers me cuz part of me just says "screw it. I don't really care anymore."

I'm just....I'm just so fucking pissed off right now. I'm pissed cuz yeah...I have Tom and like I said...I love him so much more than words can ever describe. I want the best for him. I want him to be able to play with his kids in the backyard and to have a family that supports him in whatever he does. A family who supports us.

I want to move back to Utah with my husband and I want to live the rest of our lives together without anyone holding us back.

And that's all I'm gonna say now cuz it's officially past the time I wanted to be getting to bed. And I think it's pretty obvious that I'm not only tired, but a bit cranky as well.

I just felt the sudden urge to vent, and this seemed like a good enough place...if you're at all offended by any of my language...well I'll apologize tomorrow cuz today...I really don't give a damn.

Frustrated...

I'm so sick and tired and Dawn and Rorie thinking that they just autimatically have free reign over our trailer and everything in it! So now I guess what happened was they decided to watch our new 'Avatar' blue-ray on Tom's PS3. Well, I guess Tom had his Final Fantasy 13 game IN the PS3, and they took it out and put it in the Avatar case...and then proceeded to LOSE said case WITH FF13 inside. Grrr...so we've completely turned the trailer upside down looking for it and can't find it anywhere. Yep...$60 right there. I'm slightly more than pissed.
And what's more is I was ALREADY irritated cuz I wanted to spend time with Tom and he wanted to play that stupid game...now I'm pissed cuz he can't play on account of we can't find the damn thing!

Grrr... I need to go eat something. Stress makes me hungry ::lightbulb:: hey wait a...... ;o)

Very emotional...but in a good way.

Okay first of all I just wanna say that I love both my family and my friends more than words could ever describe. I'll admit though that it's really hard being so far away from everyone...not just physically, but emotionally as well. I'd never want to step on toes, but I think Jess (at least) knows what I mean when I say that so far no one has quite been the same as a friend as what Julie was.

I have a friend from work named Heather. We used to talk occasionally, usually just a passing 'hey' and whatnot. Then something happened. There was a day at work that I could tell she just wasn't doing well, so I asked her if she was okay...as it had turned out she had just found out that she'd had a miscarraige. :o( I didn't know why but I felt like I should tell her about what happened with my son. So after that we talked some more, and some time later she ended up pregnant again. Well during her leave of absense from work I decided to look her up on myspace. Course now neither of us use that anymore and we're actually friends on facebook...but long story...well longer...

She's become a real best friend to me. She's not family. She's not Tom. And she's not someone back from highschool who probably would never talk to me if it wasn't for facebook...she's just my friend. She knows me right now. She just invited me to go with her and her kids to this car race that her son Jake is in. It's kind of like the pinewood derby that my brothers used to compete in during Scouts. I can't even describe how much that means to me, cuz she really does just randomly invite me to hang out...it's just nice to finally feel like...like I have a real best friend again. Cuz I haven't had that in a very long time...

p.s. her pregnacy after her miscarraige went just fine. Karli is over a year old now and I absolutely adore her more than just about anything. :o)

Daaaaaang....

I was in Ralph's (a grocery store) this morning, and I heard it announced over the intercom that the lottery right now has something like $178,000,000 jackpot. I woulda bought a ticket for the hell of it, but all I have in my purse are $10 bills, and the lotta machine in the store doesn't make change. Heheh! Maybe I'll buy one soon for fun. A buck isn't much and obviously in the EXTREMELY, BARELY THERE, WILL PROBABLY GET STRUCK BY LIGHTING FIRST off chance that that $1 suddenly becomes $178,000,000...well that's just about as close to awesome as you're gonna get!

Well, I've not got much more really to write about just now. Hopefully I'll write something again soon. And don't worry, if by some miracle I win the lottery (whenever that may or may not be) I won't forget the poor people. :-P

<3Monica

It's begining to feel a lot like Summer....

I'm thinking it might be close to time to finding a better place for my wallet/purse than the pocket of my jacket as it's starting to feel like I won't need to have that on my person where ever I go anymore. *sigh* Which means I'll probably have to either buy an actual purse to put it in...or buy a new wallet that's more convenient and can just fit into a regular pocket. :o( I hate spending money.

It seems to be exceptionally hot today...at least it seems to be for how hot it has gotten so far this year. Yeah, it definitely seems like summer is finally hitting, and sadly I don't think I'd touch this parks pool with a 10 foot poll. O.o

I don't like all this heat. It makes me frustrated. Well, I'm already frustrated with things, but the heat makes it worse. Sad thing is the heat also makes Tom's mom more frustrated, which in turn makes her all the more frustrating. It's a vicious cycle. One I wish I could just skip. Too bad life can't be that simple, eh? I mean, I know it really CAN be that simple, but only to an extent. I mean yeah Tom and I could just say "We can't take this anymore!" and move our happy selves away from my one day in laws, but then there'd be the issue of "Where the hell do we go?" and "Okay cool..now we gotta find new jobs so that we don't have to live on the street!" Good times! Good times! Granted, moving back to Utah is always an option and I'm sure that if we ever decided to go that rout that my loving Mother would find some way to fit us into the packed Hurricane house, but I really don't think moving in with a lot of people is what I need right now. I don't want to hurt peoples feelings by any means, but I think Tom and I need a chance to just be on our own for a little while. While we're not technically married yet I do consider him like a husband to me and the fact that we've had his sister and mom connected (by their choice, not ours) to our hip...well it's hard to explain. I'd not be against moving back to Hurricane if we could manage it, but I'd want to be able to just move into our own place. Nothing against all my family there, in fact I'd be hurt if my wonderful sisters didn't come over often. It would just be nice on the occasion that Tom and I just want some us time that we could say "Maybe tomorrow would be better" or even "in a few hours". Just so we can have some 'us time'.

I'm not sure why I ever write here anymore. I really don't think anyone ever reads. Jess might on occasion I guess but since she doesn't respond I have no way of knowing...Also I know that all I tend to do here is complain about whatever is bothering me that particular day and it's usually the same stuff. LoL!

I do have one thing to mention that I am quite pleased about. Diet Cherry Dr Pepper. I'm telling you it's God's gift to me as apology for just about everything else sucking right now. ^_^ It's definitely gotta be my favorite Diet 'cherry' flavored soda. Which probably isn't a good thing cuz on a night off I kid you not I can down a whole 2-liter. 0_o

And now I must bid you farewell. I have to make myself go to bed soon, and I'm hoping I can fall asleep as I've only been awake for about 12 hours. Farewell!

~Monica

04-08-10

It's been a while. I guess I've just been too busy with work or too downright exhausted from said work to take the time to write. I've decided that today is as good a day as any to jot something down though...so here I am!

I still have 2 nights of work left this week and I already feel like I'm going to drop. It doesn't help that plano's schedule was thrown off a day this week and goes back to the norm next week. Meaning? That I only get a 1 day weekend after a 40 hour week and then I have to jump right back in for another 40 hour week. What I wouldn't give to be able to be a stay at home wife and mother. Hell....what I wouldn't give to be a wife and mother period! I mean, I know some women feel a need to be out in the work force and wearing their own pants, not letting a man take care of them, so to speak... I am not one of those women. Teach to to cook and sew and let me see to things at home during the day and I think I could be quite content. Too bad Tom's job is no better than mine and he works less hours to boot. So since I'm pretty much the bigger money maker my default right now I guess (at least for now) that's how it's gonna be. *sigh*

So right now I'm just waiting for Tom to finish up whatever he's doing over at his computer so that we can go to bed. I know I'm always waiting on Tom to go to bed and I know that I could just head on in without him. I just like going to bed with him better than without him. :o) He's like my special teddy bear and I don't fall asleep as easily without him there.

Well maybe I'll go and see if I can convince him that it's that time. We have to get up this evening to go to Grandma's house for showers before work and I know the alarm is going to go off all too soon. Much love and peace.

Monica

Long night...

So we are setting the hardware section of the store this week and every single isle is moving to a new location. Today I actually got a 1/2 hour of over time and it was only the first day. Yikes! Granted more days like this, this week would be nice come next payday, but I'm so exhausted it's not even funny!

So right now I'm pretty much waiting for Tom to give word that he's ready to head to bed. I don't think it should be much longer since he has to be up kinda early for a raid, but with Tom it's hard to say.

Moglie is chewing on one of his raw hides we bought him... and is doing so on my lap. *sigh* I love my baby boy, but the sound of his teeth grinding on that thing drives me up and down the wall. Hahah! He's so cute though so I haven't made him move. Guess I'm just patient that way. ((And as if he knew I was talkin' about him he just dropped the raw hide and jumped up to lick my face....slightly clawing at it in the process -ouchness-.)

Okay that's all for today. I'm too tired to try to think of anything else of interest...

I'm bad at shopping....

As in...I'm pretty sure I'm not doin' it right. I didn't spend a single penny when I went shopping with Heather and Jenn today. Not one! I mean I went out with the mindset of "okay, I'm not gonna spend a lot...I'm gonna be good!" and I didn't buy a damn thing. Hmm...it was still a lot of fun though. :o) Won't go into detail about all the stores we went into (cuz well honestly, the first store was an easy one 'the gap' but most of the stores after that I don't even remember the names of). I'll just say that wooowee. Those places are EXPENSIVE! Yeah I think on my budget that my shopping extraveganzas (yeah, I know that's way off, but I'm too tired to care) are going to be limited to Walmart. LoL!

Anyway though...it really was a lot of fun just getting to go out and have some fun with the girls. That's something that I really don't get to do much since I moved to California and I missed it terribly.

So we had fajitas and spanglish rice at Heather's house after we finished with our shopping and that was all pretty good. :o) We also watched the movie 'Zoolander'. Pretty funny actually. I was somewhat surprised. LoL! Jenn left shortly after that and I ended up staying and talking with Heather until about 9pm. (If I was her I'd be way sick of me. Hahah!) It was a lot of fun though. I finally left out of pity for her cuz she seemed ready to crash. LoL. Alls well though cuz I really did wanna get home to Tom. I sort of missed him. (Heehee!)

Now I gotta I go find something to do to try to keep myself awake for a while. Fun fun fun for the whole family! ^_^

Stressed. Money. Stressed. Grr...

*sigh* Been very aware lately of our financial state. As in...we don't have enough of the financials. I mean we are getting by (which I guess is really the most important thing), but it's literally month to month and after food and bills we have really nothing left. Granted WoW is something that could be given up, but really that wouldn't make a huge difference either.

I've been trying to look for things that I could maybe do at home to make a few extra bucks, and of course everything I've seen is obvious bs that has some outrageous sign up fee of no less than $50. No thank you. I know I'm not going to find work online, but sometimes it's nice to look. Like when you go to a store and can't help but try on that really sexy black dress even though you know you can't afford to buy. Well, sort of...

I also keep thinking that I should maybe try to get a second job during the day. It would definitely have to just be something part time cuz there's no way I could handle working 2 full time jobs. If only...I'm sure that would help out with Money Matters in a huuuuge way.

So yeah...we looked at our online bank account this morning and it was at about -$26. So yeah...I think that's what's got me all hot n bothered right now. The need for making better money than we are though has been something that's been on my mind for some time.

Of course probably the biggest issue is that I'm sure there'd be plenty (or some at least) jobs I could get where'd I'd feel better off financially, and no doubt they all require some sort of college degree. The problem there is even with how little we seem to make it still seems like we probably make too much for either Tom or I to qualify for a grant. And we CAN'T afford to actually pay for even one of us to go to college. Grr at me for not doing better in highschool and getting some sort of....oh snap...I can't even think of the term right now. It'll come to me later I'm sure but ya'll know what I'm talking about (I hope).

Course not much sense in worrying about all this too much right this second I guess. I have to be up in about 6 hours cuz we have to go to Grandma's tonight to take showers. Curse having a water heater that doesn't work (not that the water pressure was any good I guess). I really really kid you not when I say that Tom's Mom is crazy for wanting to live in a trailer for the rest of her life. I definitely want to live in a house one day. Sooner would be better, but before that I need to remedy the situation I've just posted on...

Frustrated. Can there be a new me?

Okay, so I've been thinking for some time now (especially with people like Jess & Karilynn both working so hard to change themselves) that I want to try to jump on the band wagon myself and really finally make that lifestyle choice to look better and be healthier. Now your whole life whenever you say the stuff like "Oh, yeah, I think I need to lose weight" a lot of the times anyone who is (or ever has been) bigger than what you are say things like "Oh you look fine...look at me!" I don't even wanna hear that from anybody, cuz the fact is that I'm 5'6" (roughly) at (currently) 160lbs. and I barely have enough energy to make it thru my work week, and sometimes I can't make it thru the work week. I'm am happy that in the last month and a half (give or take) I lost about 10 pounds because I've had a sudden loss of appetite and have been eating less. However the last time I actually checked my weight and realized that then I'd only lost another pound, that was when my brain said, "Okay, eatin' less is only gonna take you so far...now you gotta do your part too."

I gotta say though it's so frustrating for me  and right this moment I want to do it and I feel like I can be motivated to do it...but at the same time I really feel like I'm having to go this alone and that alone I think could end up being my biggest downfall. Tom and I have talked before about both wanting to lose weight and he's said that I might have to push him to get him going. But today when I was finally feeling ready to actually get out and bust ass, he just shrugged and kinda did that "I dunno...." look that those men babies do.

So I went outside alone and all I did really was a few exercises that I could remember from P.E. (and that cool kick thing from my Dad's Tae-Bo tapes), then I took a walk (brisk, but no running) just all around the trailer park and I won't lie when I say I hurt like complete hell! I wasn't outside for maybe about 15 minutes total (and I stopped for a breather a couple times during the walk). I just have a hard time picturing myself being able to expect more than that from myself. And I'm so scared that if I can't get Tom to really want this as much as I do, that I'm going to fail and I know it's selfish of me to say that if I can't do it that it's because he wouldn't do it with me. So, what kind of person does that make me? But at the same time, I really AM scared that if I don't have someone doing this with me that I am going to give up. *sigh*

I just want to be healthier. I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror and not seriously wonder what the hell it is that Tom sees in me. I want to look in the mirror and be able to say "Yessiree Bob, that Tom is one lucky son of a bitch." But it's not like that right now. I'm embarrassed of what I look like. I was embarrassed to be at the beach with my sister and I thought she looked so good in her 2 piece suit (after just having a miscarriage no less) and I felt fat in my one piece! I had all my fat hidden behind my swim suit and I was still hoping that no one there decided that they were going to pay us any attention!

Point is that I'm not happy, and if anyone has any tips or can tell me how you got past this point I'm at now...I could really use it.

Ladidadidaaaaahhhh

So, it's occured to me that the very people who pushed me so hard to start writting on this blogging site seem to now use the site less than I do. ^_^ Curse that facebook for taking away all my interesting blogger.com material. LoL! So, I think that my patience is getting stronger. I'm finding that I'm not getting as irritated with people. Well, I am, but for some reason the irritation isn't bothering me as much. Probably cuz I'm more focused on the fact that I have to leave for work in about 3 hours...*checks clock on computer* make that about 2 1/2 hours. *sigh* I only work three days this week and I'm off early every night, but I still have that "It's only Monday morning" feeling goin' on....you know that one where you just know for a fact that Friday is only a myth that you'll never actually see? And it doesn't help that my sleeping schedule got way out of wack over the weekend so I've been awake since about noon today and I won't even get home till between 6:30 and 7 tomorrow morning. Gonna be hella tired.

I've been feeling really cooped up being at home lately. I dunno it just seems like doing the same old things on the computer are getting well...old. I didn't even get 1/2 way through my dailies today and was like "Yeah, okay...break time!" logged off WoW and watched a few shows on Hulu. Gotta love Hulu. I love watching the biggest loser...I have to be careful and not scroll down far enough to see clips of the show though cuz they post clips from episodes that haven't been posted yet...found out about someone getting voted off becuz of it. *cries* I still watched the episode when it came on the site though. I love that show...probably one of my favorites right now honestly. But I hate Ron. If you watch it you KNOW what I'm talking about. And if you like Ron...wtf??

Okay I'm going to go try to find something to do for a while before I need to start getting ready to go. ^_^

Hello people. I just wanted to get in a quick entry before I go to bed (since I'm already up way too late anyway). Not too much to really update, but I always seem to go forever without a word here so I figure something small is still better than nothing. I didn't go into work last night because I've been feeling kind of sick lately, and to top it off I twisted my arm yesterday and it was still hurting pretty badly when I woke up. It's better now, my shoulder hurts though when I move my arm (so I'm tending to not move it so much...but still moving it some to keep it from getting sore from plain stiffness). Erg..not much fun there. So it's a little after 4 now and I'm not in bed yet bcuz I've only actually been awake for about 12 hours. I think I'm going to try to get to sleep soon though cuz I'm going to try to go into work tonight which means I have to be getting up in about 5 hours. *sigh* I'm definitely looking foward to having a 3 day weekend. Maybe I'll shock myself and actually get something done around here instead of being my usual lazy self. *sigh again* One day I'll change, I promise. I'll keep the trailer clean and hell one day maybe I'll even stop making Tom do all the cooking. (Yeah, the second part not so likely...I really hate to cook.) Maybe I'll just spend my whole weekend cleaning and then if I can keep up with the chores for a while I'll let Tom take me out on a date as a reward. ^_^ Hah! It's just too bad that when the weekend comes I won't likely have this same motivation running through me. LoL!
Okay, time for sleep!

.

I'm not sure why I came to this site. I'm way too tired to even try to think of what to write about, but I thought I'd stop by anyway (probably just because I haven't in a while). Ack...my keyboard is starting to stick. Not good. I need sleep...off to bed then. Until next time (when hopefully I'm feeling a little more lively).

~

No special font, no special color. Just me trying to waste a few minutes while I wait for Tom to finish whatever he's doing so we can head to bed. A bit of news that I forgot to mention when I posted the other day. Tom and I have actually started talking more seriously again about wanting (and needing) to finally buckle down and get ourselves married. So pending that we can get just a bit of money saved up (meaning really if things don't get worse than now..hopefully) then we're thinking we might like to actually tie the knot in the next couple to few months. For obvious (I think) reasons we're planning something small. We'll get married in Las Vegas with really only our immediate families there (that's no offense to anyone who might want to be there...it's just that places that we think we can afford to go don't accomidate for that many people). So, it's not going to be the big wedding that I think we were both hoping for, but I think that after so many years of waiting for some money miracle to happen that we've both just decided that it's not worth it or even fair to either one of us to continue this way. =) So, I'm pretty excited about that.
Tom and I did have a...well, we'll call it an unpleasantry, last night, which I'm sorry I won't go into. It involved a lot of yelling and screaming and throwing of the car keys and me driving (with Dawn now instead of Tom) to pick up dinner at pizza hutt and the poor woman had to sit there listening to me bitch about how her son was being an ass. (For the record: She was a real trooper and with not having my own mother and sisters last night...I was so grateful to have her with me.) When we got back I wasn't really sure what to do at first so I didn't say anything to Tom (cuz I was like really, really mad) and within a few minutes of being home Tom asked me over to him and gave me a kiss and then he just held me and he said, "I'm so sorry I blew up at you...there was no reason for it, and I'm so sorry" And my insides just about did a back flip while turning inside out and twisting. I started crying cuz I just couldn't help myself. In the 8+ years that Tom and I have been a couple...through everything Tom has never once been the first to apologize after a fight. He's always been 'the winner (or loser depending on your view)' as far as the stubborness goes.... Until last night. When he told me he was sorry and I could tell from his voice that it was sincere and that he finally after all this time let his wall go down just to keep me from hurting....it meant more to me than I could have ever thought possible. I don't even think he realizes how much and that just makes me love him all the more cuz I know Tom better than he probably knows himself, and to stand up like that and openly admit that he was wrong...it couldn't have been an easy thing for him to do.
So now I'm just waiting for Tom to be ready for bed cuz I had to go to work shortly after everything went down last night and to be honest I'm dying to be back in his arms again and getting back to that feeling of being safe and protected. So I think I will push him along and call the entry here. I thank anyone, sincerely and from the bottom of my heart, who read this, and if no one does I know it's still good to get these things off my chest. After all...that's what journals are for. Peace and Love.

Say what??

Yeah, no particular point to the title...I just honestly couldn't think of anything else and didn't feel like leaving it blank. So bleh! =P Basically I have about an hour to kill before I need to be heading out the door for work so I'm just killing time. I'm on a shorter schedule this week again. 4 days 11 to 6 each day. So while I wish it was more hours (or rather that Tom was getting more hours cuz I kinda like working only 4 days) I am happy that I'll be home early (unless they ask us to stay late for whatever reason). I work tonight and tomorrow, have Tuesday night off (which is Tom's first night working), then I work Wednesday night (with Tom), and last night is Thursday (alone). Yep, Tom's only on 2 days still. Our trucks have been picking up though so they said maybe around 1/2 way through this month or so that people could possibly start picking up more hours again. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that's for sure. Hmm...blah, okay I'm done now. I have nothing more worth saying. 0_0

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Yeah, what can I say? It's been about a million and two years since I've even been on this site. Well, to be honest I'd think anyone reading would probably get tired of reading the same old thing day after day and honestly not much has changed. Work hasn't been too bad as far as hours go. For me at least. While right now I seem to be getting 40 hours about every other week at least, Tom's still only working a couple days. I'm hoping like you wouldn't believe that his hours pick up soon cuz this just sucks having to be so careful with our money.
So right now I'm just being lazy on the computer. Doing some myspace/facebook hopping and waiting for my water heater to finish heating up so that I can take a shower for work tonight. ^_^ I work 3 nights this week so I'm hoping that I can take advantage of have those few extra days off to get some serious work done around the house.
So I just found out today that one of my good friends (and one of Tom's best friends from his childhood) is 5 weeks pregnant. That along with the fact that a friend from work just had a baby has done more than enough for causing my want for a baby to sky rocket. Well, we'll just see how and where things go I guess. I mean it's really not like I can force Tom to have a child if he doesn't think it's the best idea right now (and really logically it's probably not with the current economy status), and of course I don't plan on leaving him just becuz he won't have a kid right now. It's still pretty hard though. Maybe if I hadn't already gone through a pregnancy it wouldn't be so bad.
Yeah, I'm blabbing like a blabber now and no one likes a blabber so I'm gonna go. ^_^ PEACE

Slowing down...not a good thing. ((sigh))

Well, work is going to be slowing down for probably a while as of now (for me...sadly already has for Tom). He's been scheduled only a couple days a week for a couple weeks now and up till now I've still had full time hours. Next week though I'm down to 4 days and have over 10 hours cut from the week. The following week Tom and I both only have 2 days. I work that Sunday and Monday and he works Tuesday and Wednesday. So it's not even like they could at least be nice to us by helping us save on gas money...they are still making drive the car all the way in to town over a duration of 4 days. ((sigh)) How troublesome... -_-
Thinking about it...it might have been better to wait to do our Utah trip until this time that we wouldn't be missing out of work hours anyway since we don't have them to begin with. Eh, no use crying over burnt toast. Besides, I had a great time in Utah (other than the whole 'getting sick' ordeal...)! ^_^ I just wish we could go more often.
Tom made pitas for lunch today and they were scrum-diddly-umptious! Okay yeah....it's almost 2. I seriously need to go to bed.
We're planning on going to Tom's grandma's tomorrow evening for dinner and to watch a movie with her. We were trying to decide between tonight and tomorrow....but with how late we're getting to bed....yeah...tonight isn't going to happen. lol
KK, my eyeballs are startin' to get that hazy feeling so I'm going to go take out my contacts which mean...yep...bedtime. G'night all....or I guess for you guys it would be G'day! ((yeah, tired))...

Home

Well, we got home from Utah this morning. I'm not sure what time it was cuz I was so out of it, but I do remember 2 dogs here that we all sorts of excited to see us. =) Lilac stayed true to form and slept in on the bed with Tom and me today. Dang, that little dog sure does love down. LoL. She's curled up in a ball right by my leg on my down comforter as we speak. (I have my lappy sitting on my bed. Comfy!) So, I miss Utah (of course) but part of me is happy to be back in my little trailer. I'm not at all excited about going back to work, but life is life and we still gotta live it, right? So I'm just chillaxin her on my bed with lappy, listenin' to some youtube toons and posting this blog. ^_^ Yeah, at the moment life is good. Maybe I'll watch some tv on hulu or something tonight. ((shrugs))

Also I've been thinking about starting a weight loss journal like my sister and cousin both have, but I haven't decided for sure. I don't think I have to lose a lot of weight, but I do know that I am at least a little overweight. So we'll have to see. Well, I'm out for now.

24 hours!

Well, we will be in Hurricane Utah in hopefully about 24 hours from now. Yay! I finally made it through the work week and now I just have to make it through the rest of today and of course the drive tonight. Two weeks with my family will make this last day of wait totally worth it though. I'm so excited to finally be going that I can't even describe it. ^_^

Tom's gonna make pound salsa soon and I can't wait cuz it's nummy and I'm hungry. LoL. Also soon we gotta go outside and clean out the car a bit and put in some oil. *nods* I've already put gas in so we don't need to worry about that. *shakes head* and then (hopefully not too late) we'll go to bed so that we can get up this evening, load up what we haven't already and be on our merry way. *nods again*

So, I'm going to keep myself occupied until Tom says it's time to start doing stuff (or until he starts making the food). To my family, I love you guys and I'll see you tomorrow!!!! -hugs-